I'm thinking about Haiti

Thursday, 18 June 2009 16:35

So, I've been thinking about Haiti lately. I'm thinking about the work we have ahead of us and the opportunities and the team and the heat and the bugs and the work and the food and the bus.....

.....and I'm starting to get......

scared? is that the word? No, not scared, but maybe anxious is a better word.

Yeah...anxious.

Knowing Melonnie and knowing how amazing and dedicated and well....amazing she is makes me feel so unworthy of the trip. Does that even make sense? Knowing how awesome these teenagers and other adults are make me feel so out of place. I don't know. I know this isn't the usual me. I'm very run as fast as I can into the situation kind of person, but right now I feel like I don't deserve to be there.

I wonder how i will ever be able to keep up with everyone else in 100 degrees. I wonder what will I do on an 8 hour bus ride when I have to pee for the third time. I wonder how will I sleep on a roof of a building outside with no air conditioning...ever....

So, yeah. I'm starting to freak out a little. Tomororw is my doctor's appointment to get my checkup and my malaria meds (ha!) They're taking bets at the office that the malaria meds give me malaria. great.

I've been running so hard so fast for so many months that I never had to stop and think about what i was doing. Reading Melonnie's blog breaks my heart every time and I love what she's done and what she's doing. I want so badly to be a part of this and to make a difference in such an amazing way. I know it's just my head getting in the way of my heart and my path. I know He will be with me the entire time. I know I will be safe.

I'm just kinds skeered is all.

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Melonnie Kelly

|2009-06-18 12:29:01

Okay... really? You know me too well to put me on ANY kind of pedestal. You
are my partner in this. We are a team. I'm certainly not here because I
deserve to be but because God is willing to use me in spite of myself. You will
be amazing here Marisa... I know your heart. Silly girl.

Marisa

|2009-06-18 13:52:22

Mel, I'm not putting you on a pedestal - i'm just amazed at what you are doing
and how you are doing it and having the guts to do it. I'm only now able to stop
running and start preparing my heart and my head for this trip.

Stacey - You both bring tears

|2009-06-22 12:42:00

Re,
I am daily growing with your encouragement and want to go with you next
time. You are stronger than I ever knew. Not just strong but patient. You
don't make me feel silly when I ask silly questions and I truly feel your love
for our Lord. Thank you for sharing that with me. You will do great....you
won't like the heat, the bugs or the sadness but you will do great!

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I'm thinking about Haiti

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